Oscar's Other Heart Attack

I authorized complete physical examinations for all the Directors at the company, as well as their spouses. Oscar and Vanessa went last week. The exam started at 6:30 a.m. with a blood-pressure check. Oscar's blood pressure was high. Then, during the stress-test on the treadmill, his heart-rate became very erratic and very fast, so they had to stop the test, even though it was less than 50% completed. They put him on a gurney and were ready to apply the defibrillator. Fortunately, it was not needed.

The next day Oscar confessed to the real reason he had such problems: He was worried about the proctoscopic exam. It seems Claudia had told him all kinds of horror stories the day before his exam.

Customer Service

I have several automatic payments set up at my bank. Most of them work flawlessly. But one payment never gets processed, and I get a notice from the bank saying

'Could not schedule payment to process on 06/13/2008 for $XXX.XX, to payee FULANO

From: System'


Thanx for the notice. Now I need to know why. So I asked, using the banks secure message system.

////////////////////////////////////////

Subject: Technical Problem

See below. Can someone tell me why???

######################

5/23/2008 4:01:35 AM
Subject: Could not schedule payment to process on 06/13/2008 for $XXX.XX, to payee FULANO

From: System

/////////////////////////////////////////

And the answer is:

Dear DAD-THE-BAD
Thank you for your inquiry in regards to your issue I am showing a pending payment for FULANO scheduled to be processed on 06/13/2008 in the amount of $XXX.XX, with a due date of 06/22/2008. Thank you for using BIG BANK'S online banking.
Jessica


I sent the message 2 times, and received the same answer from Jessica. That really makes me wonder if Jessica is just a machine.

So, I'm still asking: '¿CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHY?'

Oscar's Heart Attack

The sales director at NextiraOne is Oscar Rojo. Oscar does his job very well, and he is a wonderful person. He and members of his sales team had worked long and hard on a $54 million dollar proposal, for which I needed to sign legal documents. The signing was last Sunday night. I went and signed the documents, about 700 pages in all. Since my cell phone was dead, Oscar could not locate me Sunday night. But I know he tried, since on Monday morning I had several missed calls and at least 1 message from Oscar.

So, on Monday morning I called Oscar.

'Oscar, you called me last night.'

'Yes Mr. Reed, I did.' (He jokingly calls me Mr. Reed all the time).

'What did you need?' I asked.

'I just want to make sure you went to sign the documents last night,' was his reply.

'What documents?', followed by at least 10 seconds of silence from Oscar.

Oscar didn't think I was very funny.........